Lame and Not Lame Mascots: The Black Squirrel 5K

Another weekend, another race, and finally, a day with some warmer weather. The Commander and I are signed up for the Zion Park Half Marathon in a couple weeks. Weather stalking suggests it will be in the 70s while we are out there so we are hoping to get some training runs in some warm weather. Alas, we live in western PA.  But this weekend was a exception to the rule.

A while back, while searching for trail races to run this year, the Commander stumbled across the Black Squirrel 5K race held each year on the campus of Kent State University. Why do they call it the black squirrel race Randy? Their mascot is a weird looking Golden Eagle named Flash. Don't you worry interested blog reader, I got the answers you seek.

The 8th Annual Black Squirrel 5K

I would like to start by suggesting, that a) they change the name from the Flashes for what should be really obvious reasons (and you're welcome for me not posting a picture to splain myself) or b) they change their mascot to The Flash, because, well, The Flash.

lamesauce logo

not lamesauce logo

Where were we, ah, black squirrels. Black squirrels are a melanistic phase of the eastern grey squirrel in the north (in the south they are actually a melanistic phase the southern fox squirrel). While pockets of them are common in Ohio and PA they are generally more abundant to the north. In the 1960s, so they say, a groundskeeper and tree care worker trapped 10 black squirrels in Canada and released them on the Kent State campus. They are now more abundant than grey squirrels. As a result, the black squirrel is the unofficial (yet way less lame) mascot for the school.

Black Squirrel at Kent State (honestly I can't really vouch for his whereabouts)

Speaking of black squirrels and fast things, this 5K was fast. Indeed, the course record is 15:02. The Commander and I were both excited because I have a special place in my heart for black squirrels and this was a nice 5K trail race. See, here is the course description: "The course takes runners through the campus via the Esplanade and Portage Bike and Hike Trail". 

THIS WAS NOT A TRAIL RACE. Hahaha, apparently the hike and bike trail on campus is a hike and bike sidewalk. Still, my Altra TIMPs served me well on this absolutely brutal, completely even, horrible, wonderfully maintained sidewalk trail.

I never know where to start. I got into the corral around the middle of the pack. I'm almost 15 years removed from college and I'm no 15 minute 5K finisher. However, I overheard the dude next to me commenting to dude number two that he hadn't ever run a 5K and hadn't actually run in two years. As a result I was struggling to pass a couple hundred people out of the gate. I may have run outside the road on the grass to justify my TIMPs. Maybe. By the time we made the turn to the NW I was past the main push of people. We had a pretty flat run to a gentle incline before we headed downhill towards East Main Street and the lowest elevation of the race. Along the road on the not trail sidewalk we began to climb back up the steepest, but really not steep climb of the race. A gentle down hill from there and a slight dip and back up brought us screaming into the finish line.

Elevation or lack there of profile: Dude its central Ohio, what do you expect?

Figuring the race would be loaded with lightning fast Flashers I never expected to do all that well. But I finished 28th overall, and 3rd in my age group, and nailed a 5K PR. My only disappointment was that while the Commander saw 5 black squirrels on the run, I didn't see a damn one. But I did see three as we were leaving so life is good.

In other news, among the more stupid things I have done recently, was to sign up for the Pikes Peak Ascent half marathon. 13.3 miles, 7750' straight (not straight) up (definitely up) the mountain.

Cypress Hill says this is insane in membrane

Knowing this is waiting for me in August, we did a 12 mile sidewalk run at Brady's Run Park this morning. THIS WAS NOT A SIDEWALK RUN. Turns out it was all on trails. Weird, I know, and due to a navigating error it ended up being 14.5 miles. 

The Commander and I. Those little ankle socks suck balls. Never doing that shit again

There are two rules I always live by: 1) Wesley Snipes says "Always bet on black", and 2) Southern Discomfort says "always take the trail to the right". Well I went left and that is how we ended up in this mess. There were a few fits of rage, uncontrollable laughing, and "its fines" when we realized at mile 12 we were actually just running away from the cars. Oops. Still, we got some decent elevation in and nobody is worried about being able to go the distance at their upcoming races. I mean seriously, I should be getting "thankyou's" now.

doh. So it goes. 

Still, we knocked out 2100' of elevation, and climbed some 30 % and 40 % grade hills. Not bad for a mornings work.

Not central Ohio

If you have hung on this long, thanks for reading! If you dig heavy music, here is a video of Lo-Pan playing Pathfinder at The Outpost which is just down the road from Kent State and their lame mascot.