Chasing a DNF

DNF: Did-Not-Finish. The mar on every endurance runner’s record. But what does that really mean? I can only tell you what it means to me and why, counter to anything that makes sense, I have spent my time chasing one.

Bald Eagle mountain and boulder field leg of a trail race as viewed from the finish line. 2017 Boulder Beast, Lock Haven, PA

I don’t know anybody that loves endurance running. I’m talking about the actual act of endurance running.

 “Actually, I hate having toe nails, and I love blisters, torn muscles, vomiting, and exhaustion. Endurance running is so fun.”

                -Nobody. Ever.

So why do people do it? Why do I do it? Wait, what the hell am I actually doing? The definition of an endurance run, or long-distance run, is a continuous run over a distance of at least five miles (mi)/eight kilometers (km or k as its usually referred to in the running world). Don’t believe me, you can check it out here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long-distance_running. On the low end, for a common organized event, you are probably looking at a 10k, 6.2mi; the flip side is crazy people ultra-marathoners. These hurricanes of human physical and mental will power run hundreds or even thousands of miles in one race over multiple days. I think the endurance distances are where we begin to see a separation of people that identify themselves as “runners”.

Me (right) and my buddy halfway through the Boulder Beast. 2017 Boulder Beast, Lock Haven, PA

Many people run as part of an exercise regimen. Running is a supplement to other forms of exercise including weight lifting and cardio in a gym. It is a chance to get outside, listen to some good tunes or listen to nothing, be alone with your thoughts or clear your mind.  However, some people, people like myself, are constantly intrigued by the unknown, full of questions, and often times bountiful energy. If I can run a mile, can I run it faster? Can I run 3 miles? Can I finish a 10k? How about a half marathon? How far can I go? What is my body capable of? These questions mint endurance runners. I don’t run tens of miles for exercise. I run it as a personal challenge. I do it to stand (or run) at the precipice of the unknown and test the limits of my physical and mental capabilities in search of my body’s breaking point.

Reaching the top of the boulder field. We started on the flats in the background of the picture. 2017 Boulder Beast, Lock Haven, PA

What does a DNF mean to me? It means that I undertook the ultimate challenge for me at that time. I pushed my body to its absolute limit and in that moment, that race was just a little bit more than I could handle. A finish is wonderful. It really bestows you with a sense of accomplishment. The preparation, the maintenance, the mental and physical endurance, all these games were played and I came out the victor, but my body could have done more. The only way I will ever find that upper limit at that time is to chase down that race I can’t finish. I haven’t found it yet, so I’ll keep looking, but when I do find it, I’ll know where I stand (or more likely huddle in the fetal position), and you can bet I’ll be back the next year to beat myself and find that new limit.

If you have a DNF, you have my respect. You pushed yourself to the max, you found out what your body can do, and I bet you are already chomping at the bit to take that race on again. Hell yeah.